In recent years, marriage has increasingly become less a matter of the heart and more a matter of the wallet.
While headlines occasionally spotlight extravagant ceremonies or eyebrow-raising age gaps between wealthy tycoons and their much-younger brides, the deeper story goes far beyond tabloid gossip. A 2019 Merrill Edge survey revealed that 56% of Americans between the ages of 18 and 40 preferred a partner who provides financial security over someone they are “head over heels” in love with. The study, conducted by Bank of America’s investment arm, polled individuals with investable assets between $20,000 and $250,000. The message was clear: for most Americans, economic peace of mind has eclipsed romantic idealism.
This sentiment held across both genders, with 54% of men and 57% of women choosing money over love. The only outlier was Generation Z—the youngest adult cohort—which still leaned slightly toward love at 54%.
Cultural observers argue that these numbers don’t arise in a vacuum. “We’re living in a time when people are waiting longer to get married,” said Boston psychotherapist Abby Rodman. “They’ve already experienced long-term relationships and have learned that those ‘crazy in love’ feelings subside.”
But the shift is more than psychological maturity. It reflects a growing cultural and spiritual shift in the way Americans view relationships, commitment, and the role of faith.
Historically, marriage in America had strong foundations in faith, duty, and shared hardship. In the 1800s, frontier families faced harsh winters, disease, crop failures, and geographic isolation. They didn’t marry for convenience or lifestyle compatibility—they married for survival, companionship, and covenant. Pioneers often cited their Christian faith and daily prayer as essential to staying strong through unimaginable hardship. Churches were the first structures built in most new towns, and religious conviction underpinned many marital vows.
Contrast that with today’s dating environment, shaped heavily by digital filters, economic aspirations, and a celebrity culture that glamorizes luxury over loyalty. A study by Chapman University found that wealthy men tend to value physical attractiveness, while wealthy women prioritize financial security. In the same survey, participants were found to judge potential partners based on their smartphone brand, with iPhone users being 21 times more likely to criticize those using Androids.
“We’re seeing a transactional mindset,” said the Chapman University researchers. “It’s not that love has vanished. It’s that the culture has repackaged it as a value proposition.”
Spending trends around weddings support the data. A study out of Emory University found that couples who spend more on their weddings are actually more likely to divorce. Those who spend over $20,000 on a wedding are 46% more likely to divorce than average.
Meanwhile, religious and civic engagement is in decline. Pew Research reports that church attendance and belief in God have steadily dropped over the past two decades. Alongside that, marriage rates have plummeted. In 1950, about 78% of U.S. households were married couples. By 2022, that number had fallen to just under 48%, with cohabitation and singlehood rising across the board.
“When marriage is no longer tied to faith or sacrifice, it becomes a lifestyle accessory,” said a 2019 analysis from Pew Research. The report noted a growing perception of marriage as optional and increasingly delayed, particularly among younger and less religious Americans.
Still, not all hope is lost. Generation Z’s return to love over money may signal a cultural course correction. Whether that trend holds as they age remains to be seen.
In a time of rapid social and economic change, America may be redefining marriage—but the question remains whether it will find its way back to the kind of commitment that helped build the country in the first place.
